Readers Stories

Received August 21 2026 India

💻 “Do You Want a Wife or a Cook?” 😳 Hyderabad IT Woman Speaks Out | Kumar Exclusive

Looking for a wife or cook? | Indian Matrimony | Kumar Exclusive

“Do You Want a Wife or a Cook?” — A Hyderabad IT Professional Speaks Out

A female IT professional from Hyderabad, India, recently responded to my video about expectations in Indian arranged marriages. She gave me permission to share her views anonymously.

She believes that some educated and financially independent Indian women are becoming less interested in marriage because traditional expectations at home have not always changed at the same pace as women’s education and careers.

She shared an example from her own experience. Recently, she met her former English teacher—a highly educated woman who has been married for around 20 years. According to my follower, the teacher still felt she needed her husband’s permission to spend time outside the home with her former students.

Her in-laws were at home. Although she had already prepared lunch before leaving, she reportedly felt responsible for returning home to serve food, make tea and take care of them.

This raises a broader question:

If both husband and wife are educated, employed and contributing financially, how should household responsibilities be divided?

In another matrimonial story shared with me, a prospective bride’s family reportedly said that she could prepare only simple dishes, such as noodles. The prospective groom ultimately rejected the match.

My follower’s reaction was straightforward: If cooking ability is a major requirement for marriage, perhaps we need to ask whether someone is searching for an equal life partner or primarily for someone to manage domestic responsibilities.

This discussion is not about blaming all Indian men, criticizing Indian culture, or suggesting that every family operates this way. Families and marriages are different, and many couples successfully share responsibilities.

The larger question is about changing expectations in a changing society:

When both partners work, shouldn’t cooking, cleaning, caring for parents and other household responsibilities be openly discussed and fairly shared?

Marriage should ideally be a partnership built on respect, communication, compatibility and shared responsibility—not a job interview for domestic services.

🌎 I would especially like to hear from viewers in India, the United States and other countries: Are expectations changing in your community? How do successful couples divide household responsibilities?

— Kumar Exclusive

“Do You Want a Wife or a Cook?” — An Indian IT Woman Speaks Out

A female IT professional from Hyderabad sent me an interesting response to my recent video about Indian matrimonial expectations. She gave me permission to share her views anonymously.

She said:

“This is one reason some Indian women are becoming less interested in marriage. Even highly educated and financially independent women can still face traditional expectations at home.”

She gave me an example.

Last weekend, she met her former English teacher. According to her, the teacher has been married for about 20 years and is highly educated.

But even after all these years, she reportedly still asks her husband for permission before going out with her former students.

Why?

Her in-laws were at home. She had already cooked lunch before leaving, but she was still expected to return, serve food, make tea and take care of the household.

My follower then raised an interesting question:

“If a man is specifically looking for someone to cook, clean, serve his parents and manage the house, is he looking for an equal life partner—or primarily for someone to perform domestic duties?”

She also reacted to another matrimonial story I mentioned: a family reportedly said their daughter could only cook simple food such as noodles, and the prospective groom rejected the match.

Her response was:

“If cooking is his main requirement, perhaps he should reconsider what he actually expects from marriage.”

This isn’t about attacking Indian men or Indian culture.

The real question is:

If both husband and wife are educated, working and earning salaries, shouldn’t household responsibilities also be discussed and shared?

Marriage should be a partnership—not a job interview for an unpaid cook or housekeeper.

What do you think?

— Kumar Exclusive

“What Is Your Caste?” 😳 Hyderabad IT Worker Says Her Manager Asked in Office Chat | Kumar Exclusive

https://youtu.be/GKrlUOi9lck

“What Is Your Caste?” 😳 Hyderabad IT Worker Says Her Manager Asked in Office Chat | Kumar Exclusive

Hello everyone, this is Kumar Exclusive.

An IT professional working in Hyderabad for the Indian operations of a U.S.-based multinational company shared a troubling workplace experience with me.

I am withholding the employee’s name, the manager’s name and the company’s name for privacy. I have not independently verified the allegation, so I am presenting this as the employee’s account.

According to her, during an office chat, her manager asked her:

“What is your caste?”

She says the message was subsequently deleted.

That immediately raises an important question:

Why should an employee’s caste be relevant to her professional relationship with a manager?

An employee should be evaluated based on qualifications, performance, experience, teamwork and professional conduct—not caste or other personal background.

She also told me something important: her experience within this company has not always been negative.

Before an organizational restructuring, she worked under a different manager and described that team culture as “awesome.” She said her previous manager and colleagues treated her well.

After being moved to another team, however, she says the working environment became much worse, and other members of the team were also unhappy.

That distinction matters.

One problematic manager or team does not necessarily represent an entire company.

She also described broader concerns about long working hours in parts of India’s IT industry. At a previous employer, she says she sometimes worked until approximately 11:30 p.m.

So this story raises several questions:

Where should companies draw the line between professional conversation and inappropriate personal questions?

What should an employee do if an inappropriate message is posted and then deleted?

My suggestion to employees is simple: don’t respond emotionally or insult the manager. Preserve legitimate evidence, document dates and circumstances accurately, review your company’s HR and anti-harassment policies, and use the appropriate internal reporting channels if necessary.

At the same time, continue developing your skills and career options. If one team has a toxic culture, an internal transfer or another job may sometimes be healthier than spending years fighting with one manager.

And companies—whether Indian or multinational—should remember something important:

A global brand needs professional workplace standards at every office and at every management level.

This isn’t an allegation against every Indian manager or every IT company. There are excellent managers and healthy teams throughout the industry—as this employee’s own previous experience demonstrates.

The issue is accountability when workplace boundaries are crossed.

Should a manager ever ask an employee about caste in a workplace conversation? What would you do if this happened to you?

— Kumar Exclusive

Disclaimer: This video discusses an anonymous employee’s account shared with Kumar Exclusive. The allegation has not been independently verified. Names and identifying details have been withheld. The purpose is to discuss workplace professionalism and employee awareness, not to make a finding of wrongdoing.

US Born Indian Kid views about Indians, H-1B and S386

Subscriber’s story

Hi Kumar,

Below is my experience about H1B, S386, Body Shops and H4 EAD (2015 to Present)

Experience about F1 visa holders I faced from 2012-2020

Many of the people who come to the US (from India) on student visa do not come to the US with the intention of studying master’s or PhD. This is my personal experience I faced when I have joined a university for MS in computer science in 2012. The first thing they do is, they ask these FAQs:

they join university will I get RA??

will I get TA??

will I get a student assistant job??

will I get a job to work in gas stations or motels or stalls in malls (operated by desis)??

Their real intention is not study in USA but to make money and send it to India. Hence due to this, tens, and thousands of American jobs are lost. – A fact whether people agree or not.

Experience about H1B visa holders: I faced from 2012-2020.

Let me give you an example of this issue. One of my friends got a contract job in Microsoft Seattle WA, I am not sure how he cleared the interviews whether he did it on his own or did someone take the interview through PROXY or PROXY SKYPE.I am not sure of it. After he joined the company he started working as UI developer where someone logged into his system using team viewer and complete his work and he used to show up to work as if he completed the job every day. so, 1 month was remaining before his contract was going to end with Microsoft and he was supposed to get married next month in Hyderabad India, so he invited his manager (who is Mexican) to India. he got his H1B stamped and once he was back to US, he was surprised to know that his contract with Microsoft is going to ending. They gave him 2 days’ time to pack his stuff and leave. It is sad at this point, but H1B is a total abuse.

I have also seen a lot of people in US on H1B working in malls and gas stations for hourly wages which is against the H1B law to work there. There are also people who come from India on H1B visa like TCS, Infosys, Wipro, Mindtree, Cognizant who work for less salary than the American workers and they are replaced by their H1B’s. It is sad what we are seeing. Would India allow an Indian to be replaced by American in IT industry in India?? I do not think so, then why should it happen in US??

So, my conclusion is H-1B is totally abused mainly by bodyshops, outsourcing and all together. If the govt want to keep the H1B program they would need to change the pay slab to minimum of $150k from $60 k per annum so only the best and brightest candidates will be able to get the H1B.

Body Shops:

Many people who graduate from school after completing their master’s, bachelor’s, or PhD’s from US join Bodyshop if they do not get a full-time job. The body shops modify the resume with 7+ years of FAKE experience be it any technology, the vendor calls would be taken my candidates and they do proxy interviews are done where in for phone interview they would set a google voice mail number and forward it to their number and video interview they would do lip-sync. Once the candidate is placed at the job site, even if the candidate does not need to know all the skill sets of the job, the job will be performed by the proxy person at the end of the day who will be based in India. They work on Corp-Corp(C2C) and on percentage basis 80%- 20% or 70%-30%for first six months and next six months 75%-25% thereafter.

Even if the consultant loses job when he is on H1B, the body shop would run a fake payroll which is illegal and against the immigration law. They would deduct the pay from the consultant once he/she gets the job, so the consultant also need not worry about visa.

So, based on this, I feel all the body shopped in the US should be banned since the genuine candidates are losing jobs due to body shops who fake the resume and place the candidate.

Experience about H4 Candidates:

H4 EAD was started in 2015 for H1B spouses who have a I140 approved with the intention of working in high skilled jobs. Mostly H4 EAD are working women from India, who are now working as teller, schoolteacher, clerk, janitor and not working in highly skilled jobs. So according to me H4 EAD program should be abolished.

Experience about S386 Bill.

If this bill is passed, this would be creating huge backlogs for peoples from other countries like Canada, Australia, UK, Germany, Mexico. This bill will not benefit any other country except India. Most of the employment based green card with huge backlog are for people from India itself and this bill be a huge benefit to people from India waiting for long years. why don’t they come back to US once the priority date becomes current as in the case of family-based immigrant visas are happening these days.

They should not have also not provided H1B extension every 6 years. Once your H1B visa is done, they can come to the US once they get the green card.

The S386 is never ending bill since even if this bill passes which I don’t think it will then for years for come there would be more number of people waiting again in the backlog so then they would create another bill S387 bill.

So, my conclusion is No to S386 bill which would benefit only people from India and not from other countries.

Domestic Violence

Subscriber’s story

Several Indian women on Dependent Visas(example H4 Visa, primary is H-1B work permit visa) are living in the USA. Since India is a male dominated society hence Indian women also work like slaves to their husbands in the USA. One of such woman kicked out to India by a husband by telling lies that he got a job in India and coming to India in the next flight and disconnected her and his daughter or sons. He stayed back in the USA.

Issue is, he H-1B applied for divorce where H4 Indian woman is in India and court awarded the divorce to them.

ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLIENCE :

On the instructions of his parents and sister he used to beat me. In 2009 Jan when me and my daughter came to USA for the second time, he beat me very badly that I bleed a lot. He used harass me sexually physically and with irritating language or foul language. One day he locked me and my daughter in the bathroom as guided by his sister and later some other day he locked me in the room and he kept the 2 yrs old baby outside the room and he did a marital rape and harassed me a lot. The kid started crying as she was alone in the midnight I hardly get rid of him and attended my child after an hour. he used to warn me if I go for police he would harm the kid and my father. I was scared and I did inform the USA police.

ABOUT THE RENEWAL OF HER US BORN CHILD PASSPORT : My Child passport has been expired on Jan 2015. I contacted my husband through email but he never responded. Aa I already went for passport renewal and then they asked for fathers signature or ds 3035 form signed by the father. He did not give me any form but the attorney in the letter mentioned that he gave me the form. That was a false statement. Yet the child passport has to be renewed.

ABOUT THE CASES IN INDIA about HUSBAND : 498- a Which was a dowry harassment case . Section 9 Hindu Marriage Act and Maintenance case. He escaped to USA before filing the charge sheet in the court which was another crime offense.

There is a famous whistleblower American who projects himself as he tries to help Indian victims also cheated her by taking money and could not do anything to Indians. He is simply a bogus guy won’t help anyone.

Careful when you trust Americans and Indians in the USA.

—

Indian Communities in America: Progress or Isolation?

The Untold Story of Desi Life in the U.S.: Integration vs. Segregation

Cultural Impact of Telugu Diaspora on American Neighborhoods

When Caste and Comparisons Cross Borders: Life in the U.S.

Post Content:

A follower recently shared their experience moving from Canada to the U.S. to settle in a newly developed community. What they encountered was surprising and, to some extent, disheartening. Many of their neighbors were Telugu families who seemed more focused on replicating their own cultural environment than embracing American life.

In these communities, there’s a recurring trend: spouses faking resumes to secure IT jobs after learning skills from platforms like Udemy. This system often relies on caste-based networks, where professional opportunities are shared within a closed circle, by passing qualified candidates. Such practices may provide short-term benefits to individuals but ultimately undermine trust and integrity in the job market.

Social dynamics in these communities are unique but challenging. The follower observed that invitations are seldom needed neighbors frequently drop by unannounced, often staying for hours. Sometimes, they even join for meals without prior planning. While this might be a norm in certain cultures, it contrasts sharply with the structured, privacy-focused American lifestyle.

Housing segregation was another surprising aspect. In Webster, NY, for instance, entire apartment complexes are occupied by Indians working for specific employers, while Americans reside elsewhere. This clustering diminishes opportunities for cultural exchange and reinforces social silos.

At work, the influence of caste is evident. If a manager belongs to a particular group, job offers are often offered to those within the same network, sometimes without interviews or adequate qualifications. This nepotism further isolates these communities and fosters resentment among other employees.

This isolation also has implications for education and child-rearing. Parents often pressure children to excel academically, leading to a hyper-competitive environment that spills over into schools. Indian children, influenced by their parents, sometimes bring notions of wealth and social status into their interactions, impacting their American peers.

The follower shared anecdotes highlighting these issues:

An innocent child asking, “Do you own a house? My dad does, so you’re poor.”
Neighbors assuming every activity, even taking out the trash, might be a source of income.

While America is celebrated as a melting pot of cultures, these behaviors risk undermining its essence. Instead of blending into the diverse fabrics of society, such practices create cultural enclaves that prioritize material success over integration.

This post is not an attack on any group or culture but a reflection on what it means to live in a new country. The goal is to inspire introspection and encourage the Indian diaspora to embrace the American way of life while cherishing their roots. It’s about finding balance and contributing positively to the community they’re part of.

A follower shared this touching story of a widowed father living alone after losing his wife.
His son sends him positive WhatsApp messages to help him overcome loneliness and stay strong.
“Dad, you are not alone. Keep going—your story is not over yet.” ❤️
A simple message from a child can mean everything to an aging parent.

నాన్నకు ధైర్యం ❤️ — Strength for Dad ❤️
ఒంటరి నాన్న 😢 — A Lonely Father 😢
భార్యను కోల్పోయి ఒంటరిగా ఉన్న నాన్నకు… “నీ కథ ఇంకా ముగియలేదు నాన్నా” 😢❤️ కొడుకు పంపిన సందేశం | Kumar Exclusive
[8/14, 13:32] Babai:

*ఒంటరినయ్యానని బాధపడకు, నీ నీడే నీ తోడని నమ్ము. నమ్మకం విరిగిందని చితికిపోకు, నిన్ను నువ్వు నమ్మడం మొదలుపెట్టు. కన్నీళ్లు వస్తున్నాయని సిగ్గుపడకు, ఆ ఉప్పునీరే నీ బలం అని తెలుసుకో. చీకటి కమ్మిందని భయపడకు, వెలుగు నీలోనే ఉందని గుర్తించు. గాయమైందని ఆగిపోకు, ఆ మచ్చలే నీ చరిత్ర అని చెప్పుకో. అలసిపోయానని అనుకోకు, ఆగకుండా నడిచావనే కదా అలసింది. వెనక్కి లాగుతున్నారని చూడకు, నీ గమ్యం ముందుందని పరిగెత్తు. చులకన చేశారని చిన్నబోకు, వజ్రాన్ని రాయని అనుకునే కళ్లు చాలా ఉంటాయి. నీ సమయం రాలేదని నిందించుకోకు, సింహం ఒక్కసారే గర్జిస్తుంది, కానీ అడవి దద్దరిల్లుతుంది. నిన్ను నువ్వు తక్కువ చేసుకోకు, నువ్వు ఓడిపోతే నిన్ను నమ్మిన గుండెల్ని ఓడించినట్టే. లే..నడువు..పోరాడు..గెలువు..ఎందుకంటే నీ కథ ఇంకా ముగియలేదు..నీ విజయం ఇంకా మిగిలే ఉంది.*

[8/14, 13:34] Babai:

*విధి రాతలో ఉన్న అద్భుతమైన విషయం ఏంటంటే, సమయం వచ్చినప్పుడు అన్నీ మారిపోతాయి. మనకు ముందే ఏం జరగబోతుందో తెలియదు. అందుకే మనిషి ఇంకా ఆశతో బతుకుతున్నాడు. ఒకవేళ రేపటి బాధ ముందే తెలిస్తే ఈరోజు నవ్వేవాడు కాదు. రేపటి ఆనందం ముందే తెలిస్తే ఈరోజు కష్టపడేవాడు కాదు. జీవితంలో కొన్ని తలుపులు మూసుకుపోతాయి, కొంతమంది మనుషులు దూరమవుతారు. కొన్ని కలలు విరిగిపోతాయి. కానీ అదే జీవితం కొత్త దారిని కూడా చూపిస్తుంది. కొన్నిసార్లు కొందరికి కాలం త్వరగా కలిసొస్తుంది. కొందరికి కష్టం తర్వాత ఫలితం దక్కుతుంది. కానీ గుర్తుంచుకో, అదృష్టం అవకాశం ఇస్తుంది. శ్రమ మాత్రమే ఆ స్థానాన్ని నిలబెడుతుంది. ఈ రోజు నిన్ను చూడని కళ్లు రేపు నిన్ను వెతుకుతాయి. కాలం ఒక్కసారి తిరిగితే నీ ప్రయాణమే స్ఫూర్తి అవుతుంది. చివరికి అర్థమయ్యేది ఒక్కటే, వచ్చింది వెళ్లిపోవచ్చు, సంపాదించుకున్నది మాత్రం నీతోనే ఉంటుంది. నువ్వు నమ్మకంతో నడువు. నీ సమయం రాకమానదు.*

[8/14, 13:35] Babai:

*అందరి మాట కాదనలేక అన్నీ చేస్తూ పోతే ఒకరోజు నీ గురించి నువ్వే మర్చిపోతావు. ప్రతిసారీ ‘అలాగే’ అని తల ఊపితే నీ విలువ నీకే తెలియకుండా తగ్గిపోతుంది. అవసరం ఉన్నప్పుడు దగ్గరికి వచ్చి పని అయ్యాక దూరంగా వెళ్ళేవాళ్ళు నీ కష్టాన్ని ఎప్పుడూ గుర్తించరు. అందుకే మొహమాటాన్ని పక్కన పెట్టి ‘ఇప్పుడు కుదరదు’ అని ధైర్యంగా చెప్పడం నేర్చుకోవాలి. నీ సమయం విలువైనది, నీ శ్రమకు గౌరవం ఉండాలి. ఎప్పుడూ సర్దుకుపోతూ ఉంటే జీవితాంతం రాజీలతోనే బతకాల్సి వస్తుంది. నీ ఎదుగుదల చూసి ఓర్వలేని వాళ్ళు ఉంటారు అది లోక సహజం. లోకం ఏమనుకుంటుందో అని కాకుండా నీ మనసు ఏమంటుందో అలా బతుకు. అప్పుడప్పుడు ‘వద్దు’ అని గట్టిగా నిలబడితేనే నీ చుట్టూ నిజమైన వాళ్ళు ఎవరో అర్థమవుతుంది. ఓటమి వచ్చినా పర్వాలేదు కానీ ఆత్మగౌరవం వదులుకోకు. అదే నీకు అసలైన గెలుపు.*